Cocoa For the Soul…
Hey la! Hey la! My boyfriend’s back!
I have different ring tones for a lot of people, so I can usually tell if I want to answer or ignore a call without having to look at my phone. Last night I was working in the kitchen when it rang. It was a tone I hadn’t heard in a while (if you’re reading this- don’t worry- that song isn’t your ring… you get the “cool sub sound” you like so much). I immediately grabbed it up to find out what my friend wanted. It turns out he had taken his bike out for a spin to enjoy the gorgeous weather and didn’t get back to the storage unit before they locked up for the night, so he wasn’t able to swap it back for his car. He was bored and wanted to kill some time and thought of giving me a call. He asked if I would like to meet him at Applebee’s just to chat for a while and I agreed.
It was just like old times. The conversation started out stupidly enough (as it always does when he and I get together) and gradually changed to more in-depth, serious topics (again, as always). We discussed our respective churches and churches in general, my girls’ group, his mom, our jobs, the house I’m looking at, the apartments he’s been thinking about, a few friends, motorcycles, his family and a little of mine, our crack-berries, dogs, some current happenings, a little about future plans, travel, and a few other topics.
We really covered a wide range of subjects and the various aspects of each, all with the ease of familiarity and comfort of talking with a close friend. I’ve missed that so much. The night really was like curling up in front of a fireplace with a steaming mug of cocoa for my soul. God is so good to me. He knew that I really needed it. I mean, I believe that I’ve been taking all that has been thrown at me lately with a fair amount of grace and have done a pretty good job (of course with Christ’s help) of keeping a smile on my face and dancing in the puddles of the sorrows Satan has rained into my life this last while, but lately I’ve been feeling the drain of it all. Between the divorce, my job, what is happening with each of my parents, and the stuff with my sister, I’ve been feeling rather isolated. Don’t get me wrong; I have an amazing network of friends, but they are all going through things right now, and the one I’ve been pouring it all out to lately has been rather preoccupied with her boyfriend. I needed something to help refresh and rejuvenate my spirit- and last night was just what the doctor ordered. If I’m completely honest, I was consciously (now, don’t laugh when I say this) thinking about crying. It was really weird, almost like I was having a debate about whether or not I should allow myself to feel like crying- which would lead to crying- which would feel like taking a step toward being depressed and letting these life situations tear me down. But, then Christ came to my rescue (as He always does) and the phone rang. To top it all off- my friend gave me a hug when we said our good-bye’s in the parking lot. It was a nice treat- I usually have to ask him for them. (Thanks dude- you really have no idea how much I needed that…)
I suppose I should explain why I chose quote at the opening of this blog entry. No- he is not my boyfriend. He is a friend, and happens to be a boy, but just a friend nonetheless. The reason I chose it was because the song is so upbeat (or maybe a better word would be up-tempo?) and because I saw a side of my friend that I haven’t seen in a long time. He was open and unguarded the entire time. There was no sense of the extreme jaded-ness I’ve seen in him lately. The cloud was still there, but it was more of the little grey one that he’s always carried around out of concern for his friends and family- it wasn’t the big nasty black one he’s developed recently. I still don’t know why it turned black. Maybe that’s a topic for a further conversation between him and I… But I digress; I more meant the line from the song represents what I feel about the way last night was. We used to have so many conversations just like how that one went. Late nights, starting off with nothing in particular, light airy topics, quite a few jokes and really bad movie lines thrown in, peppered with some random ideas, then the topics slowly become more serious and in depth, until we find ourselves chatting until 1 or 2 am (okay- so it didn’t go that late last night, but heck!- we’re getting old) and our cars have been “warming up” for 2 or 3 hours before we give up and turn them off. I always left those conversations feeling rejuvenated and ready to face the next day. They were my lifeline during that point of my life. I’ve really missed having a lifeline. I’ve really missed him. I hope he’s back to stay…
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